Ghost Of Despair and State Of Disrepair
by Death Of Sky
Summary: Konoha has changed dramatically from bad to worse, and six years later Naruto and Sasuke and other of our favorite Shinobi unexpectedly find Sakura and their friends in a mess of despair.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Dear Diary,

Cold and thin and ragged, practically nothing but bones. That is how you would describe today's generation of shinobi; pitiful dirty creatures that roam the streets of old Konoha, like stray dogs, hunting for scraps of food and haunted by happy and recently bad memories of their past which was no more. Ah, but not all of us- albeit, some of us are clean, on account that some of us work in brothels, and are required to be kept clean, though not pampered, clean and in fresh clothing with our hair combed- even though we too must rely on scraps, for all are skin and bone at the very least. Most of us, including the kunoichi of my own shinobi class from the days at the academy, are suffering from a disease recently brought here from South Korea. Slowly but surely, we are dying, and but for the small daily dosage of antidote given to us by the staff, we would be decaying already.

Though they're not willing, the wealthy, to share their cure, they do give us the antidotes so that we will last months, perhaps a few years more, and we alone are thankful for that. And because I am kept clean, and albeit a little more healthier here in the brothel, sleeping with those men is a small price to pay, and I think everyone else agrees. There are even brothels of men, so that thankfully, my male friends from my shinobi days are able to survive as well as I do, however painful it remains.

They've gone, you know- along with Naruto and Sasuke, to set up a second village, about five years ago- Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Gai, Lee, Neji, Kiba, most of the Hyuuga, half the village council, Kurenai, Iruka, Genma…they all went to settle with half the population of Sand, all the way on the other side of the continent, and due to harsh weather, crossing all the way through seems to be a problem for both halves of Konoha. After all, starvation and poverty and war, and dulled our Shinobi abilities.

But anyway, it was after they all left- vulnerable as we were, it was easy for Lightning Country to invade us; they bombed our buildings and killed most of the remaining ANBU and civilians. They ravaged, raped and burned us to the ground, and now, there are few rebuilt buildings, mostly brothels and shelters and a few hotels in the area we cleaned up. After they'd bled us dry, Lightning did, naturally we had to start from scratch. We, the remaining villagers, traveled to Sand and Waterfall, who were our last hope for allies, and begged on our knees, trading anything we had for food, crops, etc. And we managed to rebuild and clean up enough, so that we still attracted some wealthy tourists, but mostly we had to live off the land, or others, meaning the crime rate rose high, and chaos ruled. Us shinobi used our remaining skills and strength to replant trees and dig up a new creek, and some of our own cabins (not me, of course, I'm referring to the last of the ANBU and Jounin). And now, I work in the Brothels, wearing my only delicate red kimono; the last heirloom of my family with our symbol that my pride dare not let me trade it in. I see Tenten from time to time, but besides Moegi, my other kunoichi friends had gone to the new village, and I couldn't make friends with anyone else- around here, people die every day, and you really don't want to get attached to someone who could potentially die tomorrow. And, after Chouji was killed, I think I had cried myself out to where I couldn't grieve anymore.

Regardless, I lie on my futon, night after night, longing for the touch of…of…them. Naruto and Sasuke. Daily, I wonder where they are, if they are still together- what are they doing, where are they going? And even so, I can only wonder, because as the days pass, still no one comes home. And each day, another friend dies, I earn a few yen, my hair grows longer, my skin gets colder and paler, and I lose another pound, and get raped by another old man. Same old thing, every single day…if it wasn't for that small, lingering flame of hope that they would come, I'd probably kill myself.

Anyway, I saw this diary in the junk store today, and since I've nothing else of interest to buy, I bought it. I guess I could keep a record of what happens here; not that anyone would want to read such gruesome, gloomy entries, but there's nothing else to do, and I guess that if anyone comes back after I die, then this can be my last testament, or whatever.

Yours,

Haruno Sakura


	2. Shift of Plans

Dear Diary,

Something is happening. I don't know all the details, but it's something about another invading country- possibly lightning again, or Waterfall, but it doesn't matter which. Apparently, it's not filth and poverty just here in Old Konoha, but this whole western side of the continent. Many others in the village, having heard this news, have attempted to flee North and South, but it seems they were all (or mostly) captured by enemy nin. Shikamaru says it's because the neighboring countries in those areas are afraid of us from the west bringing our diseases there.

Speaking of, Shikamaru (who sort of turned out as the leader of our group) says that, given our current living circumstances- we former shinobi ought to make it to New Konoha and tell our old comrades, or die trying. No matter which way you look at the situation, there's nothing else to be done, but sit here and wait for our too-late rescuers, wasting away daily tormented by rape and old memories. And if by chance New Konoha has access to our cure, then we'll be able to perhaps live happily again someday, not to mention save the lives of the children that some of us brought into this violent, chaotic world. Tenten lost one of her two babies three years back, and now only her daughter Mao remains, suffering from the disease she was born with as a result of Tenten's.

Anyway- three days. In three days, I, Tenten and Mao, Shikamaru, Shino, Rin, the rest of the ANBU, Jounin, and some medic nins, along with all their children, are going to travel first to Suna to meet up with Kankuro and his pack of Sand-nin. I hear that Kankuro himself has contracted a disease early on, but still remains ever gruff and strong as ever, however thin he is as the rest of us.

But it's going to be difficult, of course- having to avoid neighboring countries, crossing the deserts and forests…with little money, already thin and ragged enough as we are- I can't help but wonder if we're making the right decision- if it's worth the struggle- may the lot of us die before we even get there? But Shikamaru reasons that if we're going to die anyway, we might as well do what we can. Hopefully at best, we'll reach somewhere along the way where it's much more beautiful than Konoha- at least the children born into this ugly world will get to have that before they die- other children, like Mao's twin, weren't so lucky.

I think more about Sasuke and Naruto, and how things were before they left…we had known we wouldn't be seeing each other (us, team 7) for a long time, so we had stayed over together at Sasuke's house, inevitably drinking, but having a good time, reminiscing and eating pot stickers and Yakisoba noodles and having drinking contests (Naruto won, go figure). I remember how, just before he passed out stone cold on top of me, Naruto brushed fingers against my lips, and, trying to kiss them instead kissed my cheek sloppily. It was very wet, and perhaps not all that romantic, but warm, and the intensity of emotion that could only be loved burned from his eyes into mine.

I remember how, as I was lying next to a loudly snoring blonde shinobi, eyes closed and apparently presumed to be asleep, long warm fingers reaching over the said snoring blonde, to intertwine in my short strands of pink hair. They gently scratched at my scalp briefly before crawling to stroke my cheek, and then it's whole arm, followed by the rest of the body of a typically stoic brunette shinobi roughly crawled over and pushed itself between Naruto's body and my own, and arms wrapped themselves around my waist and there was a nose nuzzling my ear, nearby lips mumbling sweet nothings that were too jumbled in their drunken haze for anyone to fully understand.

When things get so bad, so that I think I possibly can't take it anymore, I think back to those particular memories. Even though I feel somewhat angry about it, it's the idea that those two are on the other side of the continent, trying to get back here to get to me, thinking about me everyday and wondering…missing me. But, even I have to think that maybe…maybe they have moved on, and good ol' Sakura-chan is a thing of the past for them. Maybe that's what they're thinking too- that their kunoichi teammate is in a still-flourishing village, maybe with some super-hot shinobi boyfriend, and perhaps that I'm a Jounin by now, or something like that. It hurts to think that way, but in a world like this one, I have come to find that being so hopeful like that is just going to hurt you more.

I feel angry because maybe they're not trying to find me; that they're having a grand old time in New Konoha, expanding it and going on missions, meeting up for Ramen and maybe dating some Shinobi beauty. It makes me want to march over this damned continent and give them a good kick in the ass…never mind that I am so weak right now, I'd never be able to land so much as a single fist in their face even if we ever meet again, or if I did hit them, my frail boned fist would break.

Well, I saw Shino today at the men's brothel while making a delivery (do that sometimes for extra money). He, without his old coat and glasses, wearing an elegant black kimono embroidered in gold, with his hair brushed back and face done perfectly…he's beautiful, and I said as much. Ah, but he had that same ill, wane face that malnutrition has given to the rest of us…as beautiful as we could try to make ourselves, it's a sick and twisted beauty that is worn only by death, or so Shino said. But brushing that aside, I asked about his insect problem, which in the past year became serious- Shino's lack of Shinobi abilities had to do with the fact that his body wasn't healthy enough to keep the bugs…stable? I didn't totally understand, not being an Aburame myself, but I knew it was hard for him to take- sick as it sounds to anyone else, to an Aburame, those insects implanted in their bodies have much to do with their familial pride. I patted his shoulder in sympathy, which was all I could really do anyway, and with a grunt and wave good bye we departed.

On final note, I've reached 103 pounds, can you believe it? When everyone left, I had weighed…about 140, so you can imagine how strange I look- so scrawny and pale, like a skeleton. Sometimes, it hurts to walk on hard surfaces or sleep on such a thin futon, without muscle and fat to cushion my fragile bones. Even a child could probably crush me. And my hair, it's down to my knees…thin, but silky and slightly wavy. Some of the clients comment that with such color in the hair and with my jade eyes, I look like a fairy, which is such a coincedence, because the legend in my family has it that the first Haruno's _were _fairies, great entities and power great as the forces of nature themselves.

But enough about that- it's time I get to bed, and to my dreams of the boys, so that tomorrow I can be strong enough to help everyone prepare for the journey. We'll need food and cloth and money, and extra emergency escape plans and tactics (courtesy of Shikamaru), in case anything goes wrong.

Until next time-

Sakura

Long time to update, I know, and yes, it's short, I know. BUT, I'm starting to get somewhere…It's not always going to be in Diary-POV format (most of next chapter, for example), and thanks for the reviews so far…yes, I like to think Sakura will become stronger, and after much angst during the "Travel Arc", I think our little group won't be so enthusiastic when they arrive, hint hint.


End file.
